epiphaniclust

Sometimes time just fade things so grey that you might think its gone.
Fragments of the past are the lingering shadows.
Actions of myself I didnt understand back then,
perhaps digger deeper really gave me an answer,
I might not like it but it is what it is.
My character wont change, maybe this might lead to isolation.
It doesnt matter as much as I thought it would be,
what I want, I have to get it.

I tried to overlook the fact that I have to get it,
it doesnt help. Afterall if you want me, you have to go through it.
my past is something you wont know overnight,
everyone has a way to work in to, you just have to try to find mine.

people say it takes 2 hands to make things work, yea.
you have to try a different way for me then,
if you are not willing to risk, then dont try.
afterall, suppressing myself just made me more confused.
and i dont like that. embrace.

i dont know what the future holds,
but im sure its nothing i cant handle,
nothing i cant handle as long i am who i am.

The entire world has misconceptions about me and my actions.
The most forgiving are perhaps strangers, what mockery.
Even the one closest to me is still, one step away.
It quite sad to actually face the truth, yep, it stings.

People often say "I wont understand if you dont tell me"
Seriously? Then what is your brain for? Observe and think about it.
It's the effort one take the step to do that I really want.
Perhaps I expect too much or maybe who am I just to them.
I often get the comment Im in my own lil world. And...
Whats wrong with it again?

I never bother explaining my actions, I dont believe in the concept of everything must be spelt out. I've walked a long 23 years to where I am and I have not stopped walking. If one wants to go under, so be it, theres no glory in getting down and dirty with them.

I find re-moduling absurdly tough. Regular hours, that bitch, new sch mates (they are cool but still, politics?! -.-") Whatever. 3 days to get it over and done with.

Couple of things I have to get done anyways:
- repair lappy to retrieve photos of US
- repair desktop casing
- iPad 2 Casing
- do pressie
- settle schoolwork


Those in a relationship... Heres a tip :)

Dont ask for kisses
Dont ask for sex
Dont ask for gifts
Dont dig the shitty past out
Dont do anything stupid

Trust, Understanding, Love and Commitment is what matters.
Dont do the donts and you will see improvements :)
Cant do it, then dont kbkp.

Resistant to release my slumber,
dark grey skiees greeted my morning.
Peering at those lines,
all I can is whisper to them,

"Dear Angels,
Please reach my girl and protect my girl,
I have lost my reach for now,
but neither hope nor faith is lost,
I shall pay for my seeking,
Anything will be worth,
She has to make through,
She has to. This battle,
I'm willing to lose everything just to win.
So please, help me."

It's rather hazy out there in Vegas.
Surreal 3.5 weeks I'd say. School's over and here I am in Vegas.
I somehow did expected to be wow-ed by the american dream/life.
Somehow it just didn't quite turn to what I expected it to.

The breeze and chill is intoxicatingly sexy, especially when you sink into thoughts.
These rumble of emotions didn't sit quite well with me.
Not only that, I'm stumped with words too, guess I need to do some catch up.

Shopping, gambling, eating, sleeping and yearning.
Going in this cycle in circles.
After these much tension going out, I finally snapped.
My wire really ran thin afterall I guess, no one is superman eh?
Class bullshit is finally over yet I have more on my mind.
Plugged to my tunes, mixed with a dash of chill wind,
it set the mood for me enter the vortex.

Churning of tangled, spurned emotions,
battered with conflicting thoughts,
I need more than just a quick fix.
The damage requires more baby lotion.

Armed with a weary mind and tainted vision,
I have to brave through another day,
Soon, very soon I have to face the inevitable.
I can fool everyone but not my shadow.


People need to learn that every clown has its serious side too.




PS: I do wish for the very best for my gf to heal. God Bless.

It's getting dark out here, cold and dry.
The sands run high and slits every surface.
The only light left is the candle in my handle.
Flickering and waning down to it's last breathe.

I decided to start blogging again after isolating myself (oh what's new? lol)
I'm afraid this time round, so bare and vulnerable.
I'm reaching out, yet it only slips even further.
But this time round I got nothing else to back on.
I dont even have time to fear, no, I dont.

The reason I am blogging is because of you love.
Nothing else is more important as of now.
It looks bleak and is there anything I can do?
I wonder, if jokes are suppose to end this way.
A hand that fits just nice into mine is gonna slip away...
Yeah, just two months, thats no fucking joke.

Enough of the depressing talk.
I just want you to know, just want you to know what I haven't been able to say to you in words.
Remember how we met and we always joke about it (more like you suan me lor D:)
Our 1st kiss, the first time you looked at me with those eyes.
Times of how you smile, cuddle, make out, annoy me.
Everything, every single one of your expression, it is carved 10 inches down my heart.

I know you feel bad about my studies and me losing my friends.
Those arent capable to understand are not fit to remain.
Everything I've done so far is by choice, so dont ever feel bad.

This journey so far is the best one could ask for,
crazy nights, long talks, weird naps, full of hugs and kisses.
You dyed rainbow zeals into my monochrome world.
For I wish this, this dream, this reality, whatever it is - never end

Even if the day comes and you leave me,
I'll be contented being just under the same clear blue sky as you.

Been like forever since i blogged. hahaha.
My gf complained but im wayyyy to busy.
I grew fat, over indulged in my love life.
YAY, im happy, who cares if im fat? :D

Guess its about time I reconnect to my social life.
Deadlines for assignments are coming and im nt studying yet.
Bah. HEHEHE. JOAN SINGLE LIAO and I didnt know, SORRY AH!
MY GF DONT WANT TO WASH BLOOD !@#$$%!@#!@#

Life is so interesting at how it goes back and forth.
Everyone should cease to play political games,
but that, my friend, is impossible.
If you cant beat them, join them. HAHAHA.

PS. i woke up just for an entry, just to make my love entertain for 5 mins :D

BEEN EONS SINCE I HAVE BLOGGED.
Way too many things has happened since my last post.
Lemme list some stuff, hehe.

1. Got hamsters today! 2 of them. wee.
2. Settle my bike parts and insurance. cb. make me poor!
3. Gotten 5kg fatter. HAHA. Time to run >.>
4. Flunk 1 paper
5. Yet to start on my assignment.
6. Happily in love!
7. MIA-ed wayyyyy too long. SORRY AH EVERYONE :(

And not to forget.

HAPPY 3 MONTHS MIXUE <33333333

Much more to rant about, but im way to bushed to do anything about it. I miss my gf. Shes asleep :D

I just recieved an article from the taxi driver.
It's related to 2012 and how we self conceited bastards are all gonna die.
All ice will melt in 2012 and toxic gas in the waters gonna put us all to sleep.

The advice is sure to save earth but it aint happening at all. HAHA.
WHAT? BAN MEAT, SMOKES AND ALCOHOL?
Yeah, people who dont drink and smoke will say its ok, to ban it.
Cause these selfish fuckers think it doesnt affect them so why not ban it?
YEAH, NOW SUCK THAT IDIOTS. MEAT IS GONNA GET BANNED IF YOU WANNA SURVIVE 2012.
You want the whole world to stop eating meat and turn vegetarian, thats pretty much impossible.

I actually would suggest to weed out china and india. Then all of us will live longer.
Now now, thats more a suggestion man. Anyways, I do pray that 2012 will come and sweep us all.
I will have my backpack ready and get ready the adventure of a lifetime. HOOYA!

Seems like you lead a pretty sad life.
Account to your friends, what a mockery.
Seems like you dont even know why are you alive for.
And please, dont get mothers involved.
Like how you stressed my mom, triggered anxiety attacks.
Stop your cheap tricks, 24 already leh. 24, OLD LIAO.
Oh, being 2 faced doesnt work here anyways,
I hope your friends do realise when you bitch bout them always :)
Paper cannot wrap fire, people will still see who you are.
What more you did I shant say. Time will show others :>
Someday you will realise how much you suck.
Hope God will englighten you someday.
God bless.

Im just being bored. NOT BITCHY DONT BE BITCHY.
LEARN FROM THE MASTER LAH. LOL.
YOU HEARD ME BLOGGING? HOW. LOLOL.
YOU chop your ears and paste by my laptop?
OR are you the one of the ten brothers with thousand mile ears?

HATE the durian after smells?
HERE's Aloysius's tips of the day.
1. Use the plastic bag put over your head and tie it to your neck air tight.
2. SHAVE YOUR HEAD so your hair wont touch the durian.
3. USE durian shell and smash your nose so you can't smell
(so you dont need to wash your hands or rinse your mouth, thats one step less! Awesomeness)
4. Don't brush cos you stink anyways :D
4. WANT to eat, EAT TILL YOU DIE. HUAT AH!

WOW, i will do all 1-4 and no 5. WOW, I HAVE NO NUMBER 5. SHIT I COPY A RETARDED PERSON's number. AWWWW :( Dont spank me for being naughty :)

Jokes aside, here is the serious part:

I miss my GF thats beside me :(
How in love can i get?
Michelle, I MISS YOU LAHHHHHH.